Peter and the Wolf
by Alexa Donaghy
Summary: In a world where homosexuality is an abomination, Peter Pettigrew summons the courage to act on his feelings for Remus Lupin. Word gets out that Peter is gay, and cruelty follows, eventually turning him to the Dark Side.
1. Flawless Imperfection

**A/N:  **This is my take on what turned meek little Peter Pettigrew into a cold-blooded killer.  This is short, but it's just the prologue.  The theme song is "Have You Ever", by Brandy Norwood.

**Pairings:**  Sort Peter/Remus, but nothing ever develops.  Remus is straight, so it's pretty one-sided.  And of course, Lily and James are a couple.

**Rating:  **R, for violence, rape, suicide attempts, language, and some adult situations.  This is the FF.net-friendly version.  (Meaning, everything will be toned down quite a bit.)  The real version will be posted on the website that Caytin Lowe and I own, .  (If that address didn't show up, the site is listed in my profile.)

**Warnings:  VERY IMPORTANT!!!  READ!!!**   This fic will deal with heavy angst, depression, violence, suicide attempts, homosexuality issues, and *SLASH*.  (Though no slash relationships develop.)  If this is not your cup of tea, kindly LEAVE, and read _The Mirror Dwellers_, or the _Full Circle_ series.  (A couple of non-slashy, non-angsty fics of mine.) If you wish to read a non-slashy, not-so-angsty well-written Peter-goes-to-the-Dark-Side fic, I suggest you read Avlyn's _Wormtail's Betrayal_!

**Summary:  **In a world where homosexuality is an abomination, Peter Pettigrew develops feelings for his best friend, Remus Lupin.  Peter finally gathers up the courage to act on his feelings, only to get politely rejected.  The Marauders are determined to stand by him, but the friendship weakens after many complaints from parents about a "faggot" attending school with their children, and numerous beatings, rapes, and suicide attempts.  The Slytherins, who see an opportunity to trap yet another innocent soul in Voldemort's evil clutches, befriend Peter, luring him to the Dark Side.  Covers MWPP's 7th year, through the beginning of Peter's life as Percy's pet rat.  (Scabbers belonged to Percy first.)  There will be a sequel, beginning in Ron's first year.  There may be more fics added to it, because I'm at least going to write until Goblet of Fire.  THIS FIC WILL NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!!!  

**Disclaimer:  **If you recognize it, it belongs to JKR.  I own the plotline, along with a few minor OC's here and there.  If you wish to use my stuff, or archive this story, please ask me first!

**SORRY FOR THE LONG A/N!!!  R&R, PLEASE!!!**

Have You Ever, by Brandy Norwood 

_Have you ever loved somebody so much   
It makes you cry   
Have you ever needed something so bad   
You can't sleep at night   
Have you ever tried the words   
But they don't come out right   
Have you ever, have you ever   
  
Have you ever been in love   
Been in love so bad   
You'd do anything to make them understand   
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away   
You'd give anything to make them feel the same   
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart   
But you don't know what to say   
And you don't know where to start   
  
Have you ever loved somebody so much   
It makes you cry   
Have you ever needed something so bad_   
_You can't sleep at night   
Have you ever tried to find the words   
But they don't come out right   
Have you ever, have you ever   
__  
__Have you ever found the one   
You've dreamed of all your life   
You'd do anything to look in their eyes   
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to   
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you   
Have you ever closed your eyes and   
Dreamed that they were there   
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care   
  
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby   
What do I gotta do to get to your heart   
To make you understand how I need you next to me   
Gotta get you in my world   
'Cause baby I can't sleep_

Prologue:  Flawless Imperfections 

            Sand colored hair… eyes the color of honey… sexy smile… and the sense of danger that all werewolves radiate. Yes, the object of Peter Pettigrew's affection was *almost* perfect.  What's the problem, you say?  Well… Remus Lupin was kind of a boy…

            Peter moaned in confusion and buried his head in his hands.  It had all started a month ago.  Peter had been tagging along on the prank playing as usual.  He had looked over to see Remus lifting his head back in laughter, and suddenly saw him in a different light.  Peter didn't understand the strange feelings that had abruptly washed over him.  It was as if they had been there all along, merely lying dormant.

            After that, Peter had constantly been picturing what it would be like to kiss those sweet lips that were always curved in a kind smile… what it would be like to have both their bodies drenched in sweat after an endless night of passionate love-making.

            _//Snap out of it, Peter!  You can't be thinking like this about another guy!  It isn't natural!//_ thought Peter, as he felt himself begin to stiffen.

            But a little voice inside his heart told him that it was as natural as life and death, and as vital as oxygen.

            Peter didn't know if he was in love with Remus… hell, he didn't know *what* he was feeling.  All he knew was that he *needed* Remus.  He *needed* that body intertwined with his own… alabaster mixing with ivory…  One extra protruding part, and two lacking didn't really make *that* much difference, did it?

            The tears came down in rivers as Peter slowly began to realize what this could mean.

            Was he… gay?  A fag?  A fruitcake?  A fucking *freak*?  Everyone knew homosexuality was wrong.  It was a wonder that there was no law stating that you could be sent to St. Mungo's, or even worse, Azkaban, for merely getting a hard-on from thinking about another boy.

            _//I can't be gay… I can't be…//_

He had certainly never felt this way about a girl before.  He had never woken up in a cold sweat, his sheets soaked with a sticky white substance after dreaming about a particularly bewitching veela… Once, back in fifth year, he had one of *those* dreams about Ben Morgan, a tall dark and handsome Ravenclaw in his year.  He never told anybody about it, and merely figured it was something that happened to all teenage boys.  After all, his dreams were out of his control, right?

            Wrong.  He had been taught all of his life that homosexuality was a choice, and if he was gay, it was his fault.

            _//Maybe it's just a phase…//_

            The little voice in his heart spoke again, telling him that it wasn't.  His feelings for Remus weren't just a passing fortuity.  They were set in stone.

            _//Holy fuck… I'm a fag…//_

**A/N:**  There it is, the prologue!  Just so you know, I am *not* against homosexuality.  I have several friends that are gay and feel that it is completely unfair what they are put through.  I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice.  (I mean come on, do we straight people just wake up one day and say "Hmmm, I think I wanna be straight!"  So why would it be different for gay people?  And why if holy hell would *anyone* choose to be treated the way say… Matthew Shepard… was treated?  Didn't think so.)  This story is meant to be an allegory to show exactly what cruelty can do.  =^_^=


	2. Marauding

**A/N:**  Sorry the update has been so slow in coming…  *hides head in shame*  I have a stupid sinus infection and my wisdom teeth are absolutely *killing* me.  I can barely open my mouth, (do you know how hard it is NOT to yawn?) I can't chew, and it itches and hurts and I want to just DIE.  And when I'm feeling crappy, my Muses shut down and I don't want to post something mediocre, you know?  Plus I've been busy.  Anyway, the theme song is "You Look So Fine", by Garbage.  I modified it a bit.

**Disclaimer:**  If you recognize it, it's JKR's.  If you don't, it's mine.  (This includes the plot, and a few OC's because we don't really know that many characters from the Marauders era.)

_You Look So Fine, by Garbage (Modified a bit)_

You look so fine  
  
I want to break your heart  
And give you mine  
You're taking me over  
  
It's so insane  
You've got me tethered and chained  
I hear your name  
And I'm falling over  
  
I'm not like all the other girls  
I can't take it like the other girls  
I won't share it like the other girls  
That you used to know  
  
You look so fine  
  
Knocked down  
Cried out  
Been down just to find out  
I'm through  
Bleeding for you  
  
I'm open wide  
I want to take you home  
We'll waste some time  
You're the only one for me  
  
You look so fine  
I'm like the desert tonight  
Leave her behind  
If you want to show me  
  
I'm not like all the other boys  
I won't take it like the other boys  
I won't fake it like the other boys  
That you used to know  
  
You're taking me over  
Over and over  
I'm falling over  
Over and over  
  
You're taking me over  
Drown in me one more time  
Hide inside me tonight  
Do what you want to do  
Just pretend happy end  
Let me know let it show  
  
Ending with letting go   
  
Let's pretend, happy end 

Chapter 1:  Marauding 

            "Merlin… can you imagine the look on Snape's face when he waked up in the morning?" asked Sirius, with a laugh, as they left the Gryffindor common room under James' invisibility cloak.

            "Yes, Padfoot, now shut up!  It's past curfew and Filch is roaming about!  Do you want to be caught before we even pull the prank?" James chided in a hushed voice.

            The four Marauders quietly made their way down to the p?dungeons.

            Peter surreptitiously stole a look in Remus' direction.  He looked so… fine… with his messy sand-colored hair haphazardly pulled into a ponytail, his mouth creased in a smile, and his golden eyes gleaming with mischief.  Peter completely forgot about his one objective ("DON'T YOU DARE LOSE THE MAP!") and was oblivious to everything except the werewolf beside him.  He didn't even realize it when they reached the Slytherin common room.

            "Hey… Earth to Wormtail…" whispered Sirius, using a Muggle phrase he had often heard Lily, James' girlfriend, use.  He continued, waving a hand in front of Peter's face.  "Snap out of it man, we need the password."

            Peter shook his head and remembered that, as a rat in his Animagus form, he was the one who always got the Slytherin password when their Marauding took them in that direction… which was quite often.

            "Serpent Requiem."  (**A/N:  **I love that word!)

            The portrait of the runespoor swung forward, and the Gryffindors entered, making their way towards the seventh year boys' dormitory.

            They crept in and found Victor Crabbe, Gabe Goyle, Stefan MacNair, and Severus Snape all asleep in their respective beds.  Lucius Malfoy and Damien Zabini were most likely in the beds of the flavors of the week, as they were the resident playboys.

            Remus quickly cast several charms on Snape, while James and Sirius performed a bit of transfiguration.

            Severus now had silky, clean, shoulder-length red hair, tied back with a satin gold ribbon, and was wearing a gold lame (**A/N:  **pronounced LAH-may) button-up shirt, tight scarlet leather pants, and scarlet cowboy boots.  He wouldn't be able to change his clothing, and if he tried to hide it with his robes, they would literally run away screaming.  He also would be unable to change his hair, and would speak with a "Flamer's Lisp."  The changes would last for a full twenty-four hours.

            Peter felt bad for Severus; if they would do this to a guy that they knew was straight by reputation, what would they do to him, a true homo?

            James jerked Peter out of his reverie and dragged him out of the room.  They were on their way to Gryffindor Tower when they saw Filch picking up an old piece of parchment.

            "What's this, my sweet?" he asked his highly annoying cat, Mrs. Norris.  "Looks like a plain piece of parchment to me… Damn kids littering about… Not as if I don't have enough work to do, keeping this castle clean…"

            Mrs. Norris meowed loudly as if to let her master know that his find was much more than what he thought.

            Filch looked around to see if the owner was near so he could nab them and have them tell him exactly what secrets the parchment held.  He was a Squib and could do no magic to find out for himself.

            Just when the greasy Caretaker was about to give up, Professor Rasputin, Head of Slytherin, walked by.

            "And what have you got there, Filch?" he asked in a disgustingly slimy and arrogant voice.

            "Found it on the ground here.  My instincts tell me it's highly dangerous."

            Rasputin snatched the parchment from the other man and inspected it, before finally tapping it with his wand and commanding it to show itself.

            The parchment, however, crumpled up into the shape of a mouth and blew a loud, wet raspberry in the Professor's direction.

            Professor Rasputin threw the parchment at Filch and stalked off, looking for a student to take his wrath out upon.  Filch gleefully confiscated it and hurried to his office.

            James, Sirius, and Remus glared angrily at Peter, before stealing the rest of the way to Gryffindor Tower.

            Once inside the common room, James turned to the fat blonde boy, seething with rage.

            "All I asked you to do was to hold onto the map!  And now you've gone and lost it for us!  What if I hadn't wiped it before handing it to you?  Huh?  GODS, Peter, we can't trust you with anything!" he yelled, before stomping up the stairs to their room.

            Remus and Sirius threw him another murderous glare each, before following after James.

            Peter sighed before crossing to the right wall of the room and tapped a slight indentation in the wall with his wand, saying "Cavaliere", revealing a large, intricately carved cherry wood door.  Peter stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.  The door immediately disappeared.  Peter looked at the familiar surroundings, still in awe at the beauty, even though he and the other Marauders had discovered it in their fourth year.  It was decorated in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw colors, and a life-size portrait of Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw on their wedding day hung over the king-size four-poster bed.  The floor was covered in a plush scarlet and gold Persian rug, and the fireplace blazed with a magical flame that never went out.  On the opposite wall was beautiful floor-to-ceiling bay window, which was hidden from view on the outside of the castle.  From it, hung heavy velvet midnight blue drapes, tied off with a copper-colored rope.  Peter sighed and sat down on the soft feather bed, resolving to spend the night in the secret room.  He knew there was no way he could sleep in the dorm while the rest of the Marauders were so angry with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            _Remus came toward him, a seductive glint in his amber eyes, and placed a light kiss on his forehead.  The werewolf's bare skin was glowing in the soft light from the crescent moon flowing in from the night sky outside._

_            Remus bent down and nipped at Peter's shoulder, before coming back up and taking his mouth in a hot, searing kiss.  Remus' tongue explored Peter's mouth, massaging his tongue, gently moving along the crevices…  Peter groped for something to hang on to, as his knees were going weak and he didn't know how much longer he could stand without support.  He gasped when Remus grabbed his hand and guided it to his erection._

_            Peter moaned and lightly stroked the other boy's staff up and down, causing Remus to break the kiss and cry out with pleasure.  Peter whimpered at the loss of contact with Remus' already bruised lips, but was silenced with a kiss._

_            Remus took Peter's hand and led him to the bed, gently laying him down upon it.  He ran his tongue along Peter's pale, soft skin, from his neck, all the way to the tip of his manhood, lapping at the tiny bit of salty liquid it was beginning to secrete.  He began the journey back up to Peter's lonely, open mouth, and their lips connected again with passion._

_            Remus grabbed the thick potion from the bedside table and coated his shaft with it, before spreading and lifting Peter's legs, and easing into him._

_            Peter's eyes opened wide at the invasion, but soon closed them again as he was immersed in ecstasy with each thrust._

_            Peter could feel something building up inside of him… something big, pleading for release.  It built and built, until, suddenly, his climax came, seconds before Remus', leaving them both exhausted and tingling with the remnants of rapture._

Peter shot up in the bed, feeling something wet and sticky surrounding him, and groaned when he discovered what it was, remembering the dream… the amazingly clear, detailed, lust-filled, and all too real dream…

            He quickly cast a Cleaning charm, before lying down and *trying* to get another couple of hours of sleep before breakfast time.

**A/N:  **So how was that scene?  I'm not the greatest at writing lemons, sorry…  Poor Peter!  It wasn't even real…  Anyway, if you would like to be added to my Updates mailing list, please leave your email address in your review, or email me at GoddessofRequiem@aol.com.  COOKIE TIME!

Caytin Lowe:  I don't like Peter either.  I'm mostly writing this story for the allegory.  And of course I'm out of the ordinary… Out of the ordinary is squared away man… LOL

_Angelxd14:  Thanks Princess Anna!  And yes, water works are ahead.  YOU ROCK!  ~Queen Alexa_

_Dark Comet:  Yeah, I don't really like Peter.  Never have, but I do kind of feel sorry for him when I'm writing this.  Thanks for the review!_

_doom:  Hehe… doom… LOVE IT!  And I grant thy wish.  =^_^=_


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